Read Online and Download Ebook Kill the Farm Boy: The Tales of Pell Series, Book 1
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Kill the Farm Boy: The Tales of Pell Series, Book 1

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In an irreverent new series in the tradition of Monty Python, the best-selling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes.
"Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett." (Chuck Wendig)
"When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!" (Terry Brooks)
Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born...and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed.Â
Praise for Kill the Farm Boy:
"A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style...a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python-esque humor and whimsy a la Terry Pratchett's Discworld." (Kirkus Reviews)
"Dawson and Hearne's reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman's The Princess Bride and William Steig's Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end." (Library Journal)
"Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly." (SyFy)
"A smart comedy...nuanced, complicated, and human." (Tordotcom)
"[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical 'white male power fantasies,' and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella." (Publishers Weekly)Â Â
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 12 hours and 38 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Random House Audio
Audible.com Release Date: July 17, 2018
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B079J5K13P
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
Kill the Farm Boy is proof that a socially-aware story with highly representative characters, poking tongue-in-cheek fun at fantasy tropes, is not always... well, good.I wanted to like this book. Marketing referenced Princess Bride, Monty Python, Terry Pratchett. Heck, the stated aim was to make fun of white male power fantasies. (See the Acknowledgments.) Awesome! Sounds great! Right up my alley.But unlike the other works and authors mentioned above, the humor in Kill the Farm Boy was cringeworthy and sad. I’m a fan of clever puns, but this book indulged in only the most obvious, and then drove them into the ground through repetition. No joke could be made without another character echoing it, and then a third, and then the narration explaining the joke in case the reader did not get it.I’m also fine with anachronisms in comic fantasy. Terry Pratchett used these to great comic effect throughout the Discworld series. However, he did not tend to offer up thinly veiled pop culture references and assume that would be sufficient. The level of humor is much closer to Piers Anthony’s Xanth series — puerile and superfluous.Even with all of that, I might have remained kindly disposed to the book. It’s pretty much the only book of modern fantasy I’ve read whose central romantic couple was a lesbian relationship, which is never questioned as odd or wrong, and not sexualized for the sake of male readers. Socially conscious! Progressive! Awesome!But the dick jokes. And vagina jokes, and boob jokes, and poo and mucus and on and on and on. They undercut everything. At one point, I made a note of one particular line that summed up the whole thing for me. “It died with ululations and a torrent of diarrhea.†(Page 190 in my edition. In a paragraph by itself, you can’t miss it.)So that’s my review of the book. A strong premise was marred by bad jokes and biological humor, and as a result, the whole thing died with ululations and a torrent of diarrhea. I can only hope that at some point, someone can do this concept justice, because it deserves better than this book gave it.
There are all sorts of ways books can be good. They can be original and challenging. They can go over familiar ground in interesting ways. They can be familiar but well-written. They can be funny. They can be witty. They can inspire strong feelings.The Tales of Pell does none of these.I was really hoping for something good. Both authors have done excellent work, but somehow the whole was much less than the sum of the parts. This is the sort of thing Dianna Wynne Jones was doing decades ago, except that it was fresh then. The exposure and reversal of fantasy tropes was consistently clumsy and easy to spot a mile off. The puns weren't groaners, and the jokes weren't funny. They were both just stale and lifeless. The bookish in-jokes barely rose to the level of eye-rollers; "A Confederacy of Dunces" had its fifteen minutes and that was twelve too long. The relentless poop and snot jokes didn't add anything, not even slapstick.Maybe there was some good reason to make the characters flatter than cardboard which I'm not literate enough to appreciate. If there were the fully exercised it. But it didn't enhance the story or make up for its many tedious faults. It was all so, so Creative Writing 101 with the Personal Preference, the Unpleasant Quality for Depth, the Quirky Trait, the Self-Realization and the One Surprising Bit of Depth. I enjoy the odd poke at people who take CW too seriously, but if it was a joke it got pushed so long it was pleated.The "surprises" weren't surprising, not even the Less Obvious Really Surprising Surprises. The Trope Reversal wasn't interesting or enlightening. It was simply an opportunity to sigh and say "We can switch this, have a non-traditional that, do just the opposite of what happens in the Red Fairy Book and still come up with a stale, juiceless piece of tripe."Avoid this book. The best you can hope for is disappointment
I had hopes for this when I read the description. I love things like this. Spoofs are some of my favorite types of books and movies.It started with the map - some really ingenious things there for the names of things, from common phrases to body parts.But as I started going through the chapters, it seemed like it was stuck at the adolescent level, even a bit pre adolescent. It read like some of the things we may have found on the cutting room floor of the South Park shows.I think they just tried too hard, and really, REALLY went overboard with the kid level jokes, especially the sexual ones. I mean, the "Morning Wood" joke seemed to last forEVER. They reveled in them the same way a 10 year old will laugh when you say, "boobie trap." It made me think of a line in "Chasing Amy" when one of the guys refers to how all the money is in male organ and fart jokes...I managed to make it about half way through, then I just had to give up. Far too many other books to read that won't have me rolling my eyes so much.
5 out of 5 gnomesSo chock full of punny goodness and funny wordplay. I for one was snort laughing my way through a good portion of this book. Plus now I'm contemplating how awesome bread/cracker based magic powers would be.Before you know it you'll both be laughing at yet actually caring about all these characters. Toby especially really grew on me. All these characters have some great shining moments in the stories and a lot of funny ones too. Then there's Gustave, I never thought I would be so invested in the antics of a goat.The chosen one of this story is very entertaining and they meet a heck of a motley crew along the way.This story is full of surprises and multiple points of view. You'll find yourself questing for knowledge right along with this party trying to figure out what could happen next.This funny punny book will have you looking at fantasy and all its usual tropes in a new way.
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